Inside job

Retirees have been finally able to withdraw their pensions form banks after last week’s government forced cash crunch.

President Maduro apologized to them and said he was unaware that the special bank accounts for retirees only allowed for cash withdrawals and not for transfers, but he promised to change the situations and lamented that perhaps the mistake had been the works of conspirators inside the government: “I sometimes say that the conspiracy is inside [the government]. Could it be that the gringos have paid key government posts so that they do harm in the name of the revolution? But you know [they say] I’m dumb, so I will act when the time comes,” declared the president.

He also again accused US President Obama, and local opposition of being behind the recent crisis, and announced that any bank owner caught sabotaging the system will be arrested.