Synchronized Attacks by Sad and Slavish Local Lackeys

Last night the fourth national power outage in a week was explained by Jorge Rodríguez, Minister of Information and Communication, as the result of two “programed and synchronized” attacks against the National Electrical System.

“The Bolivarian Government addresses the people of Venezuela and the world, to denounce the vile and brutal perpetration of two programed and synchronized attacks against the National Electric System with the aim of obstructing, in a criminal and homicidal way, the enormous efforts the Revolutionary Government is doing to stabilize the electric service”, declared Rodríguez.

These new attacks, claims Rodríguez, come in addition to “electromagnetic pulse attacks and mechanical actions,” an arson attack, and a sniper attack with “high caliber bullets,” which according to the Minister have crippled Venezuela’s electric system since March 7.

Rodríguez assured, however, that the government will “give back to the people” its right to accesses to electricity: “We will repair and recover the equipment savagely damaged by agents of the northern supremacist Empire and its sad and slavish [genuflexos] local lackeys.”